Professor Ruth Tucker from Calvin Theological Seminary has knocked my socks off with her new book.  In
"Walking Away from Faith -- Unraveling the Mystery of Belief and Unbelief (InterVarsity Press, 2002)," Tucker
explores why some people who start the journey of faith end up walking away in the end.

No, she has not walked away from Christianity.  Tucker's faith is her life, her only hope.  And yet, holding on is a
struggle.  Tucker is a card-carrying doubter.

Raised in a strong northern Wisconsin farm family, she says, "My family was not considered religious."  To this day,
Tucker is the only one of her family siblings that fully embraces Christianity.

Where is the line that divides religious belief from unbelief?   How wide is God's mercy?  Tucker says, "All of us in
our faith fall somewhere on the vast, subjective spectrum that ranges from absolute certainty to unrestrained
skepticism.  Some profess a confident belief in God that is never questioned; others cling to a belief riddled with
doubts, only a millimeter shy of unbelief."

Certainly not all of us hear God the same.  Tucker finds his voice often silent, except when she is singing an old
hymn or lifting her hands during a praise chorus.

But Tucker's friend Marcia in Colorado is just the opposite.  Marcia seems to have a direct pipeline to God.  "She
has more than enough faith for both of us," Tucker says, "and she loves and accepts me for who I am."

My whole life I've wondered how can one person rarely hear God, while another hears and sees and experiences
God with seeming ease.

When Tucker tells the story of Billy Graham and Chuck Templeton, you see that from a human perspective, it is
hard to explain the mystery of belief and unbelief.  Graham and Templeton were evangelists, co-workers and
friends back in 1945.  The soon-to-be-know Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and Youth for Christ were
soon to become household names in Christian homes across America.

At one point, the two men even traveled to England to preach nightly rallies.  The press reported that no building
was large enough to house the young people who flocked to the meetings.

But then Chuck Templeton began having serious intellectual doubts about his beliefs in Christianity.  He suffered
from bouts of depression and despair before concluding that his doubts might be assuaged with more theological
education.  He decided to attend Princeton Seminary.

Finally, Templeton was ordained in the Presbyterian Church but eventually left the ministry altogether.  Graham
pressed on, preaching throughout the world.  His celebrity status grew, and the name Billy Graham now is a
household name.

Templeton and Graham remained friends over the years, but it was not a close friendship.  Graham held tenaciously
to his believe in the Bible, allowing "faith to go beyond my intellectual questions and doubts," Tucker says.

No single issue led Templeton to his gradual lost of faith, but the problem of pain and evil troubled him more than
any other.  Those issues also troubled Hannah Whitall Smith, a prominent Christian preacher from the 19th century
and another doubter featured in Tucker's book.

Smith and her husband Robert worked in the ministry together.  Though Hannah is the author of the best-selling
book "The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life (still selling today!)," her life was far from happy.  Several of her
children died before they reached adulthood.  Robert, though a mesmerizing preacher, suffered from depression.

Robert eventually lost his faith entirely, and in 1882 Hannah discovered his secret relationship with another woman.
Three of Hannah's children lived to adulthood but none kept the faith.  A son said he had lost his faith by age 11.
Another daughter had an affair, and yet another married the famous atheist Betrand Russsell.

After Robert Smith died in 1898, Hannah clung tenaciously to her children and grandchildren by adopting
universalism -- the doctrine says that in the end all people will be saved.  Hannah strongly opposed the doctrine of
election that God would chose only certain ones for eternal life.

Tucker's book is filled with stories that made me wonder and shake my head.  She insists that wherever we are
theologically, "we need to listen to the voices of others and refrain from hasty judgment."
 

 Don Follis is an Urbana minister.  Reprinted with permission from the
Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette, copyright 2002.